Move over…

Today had me thinking about making room.  As I look forward to the days where I will be running my shop, taking orders, taking inventory, managing partnerships and generally keeping things ticking over, I have been reflecting on how I can and whether I can, make room for everything I want in my life.

For most of my working life I don’t think I had the balance right. For a good while, I made lots of room for work but squeezed in the rest. Then thanks to the universe taking charge, the crystal love and a diagnosis of M.E I started to realise I was living in extremes.

So its clear that extremes don’t work for me and finally I am in a position to say I don’t want them to work for me either! The hedonist has gone to bed and I need to channel my inner Libra, search for that elusive balance.

This is most likely why the guidance was to do this in a non planning way. Why its essential to listen to guidance, to meditate, to hug a tree. It keeps me grounded and self aware.

And most importantly, it reminds me that I am consciously choosing this reality and how it manifests is, only, up to me.

And breathe.

Essential to any attempt at my non plan business planning is meditation. So following my guidance of “Silence the noise” today I spent the afternoon going within.

My inner world has always been noisy. Again I have to point my finger squarely at that feisty Aries ascendant. Its raw enthusiasm creates a million questions and corresponding ideas to answer those questions and thanks to a conspiratorial relationship with Jupiter in equally feisty Sagittarius, sometimes it doesn’t know when to stop.

Thank the universe for meditation. It has introduced me to something which has allowed me to have a more fulfilling life experience: non-thinking time. During this time I can stop the endless chatter and, as the wonderful Deepak says, just Be.

It doesn’t have to be cross legged and three hours either. Sometime just sitting there concentrating on my breath for 5 minutes or repeating a mantra is enough to create that inner space.

Today my mind was full of scary, fear-inducing ramblings. That inner critic was clearly in her element:
“I should” be doing some research (doesn’t she just love the word should) I should be writing a plan I should be viewing some spaces Why i am not further forward What am I thinking I must be mad This is a ridiculous idea I should just do my job and be grateful…etc etc”
So I meditated. And I could breathe again.

To me that non thinking time is when I synthesise my thoughts and ideas. Organise them, focus them, chuck out the ones I don’t need. And it allows me to access wisdom and guidance that I couldn’t hear before. Maybe just for a brief moment but a vital moment nontheless.

And today’s guidance? I have time… 😊

Eh? What did you say?

Well it’s week 2 of my journey. I’ve done the eeks and the yays and now I need to get going and, in not an unusual fashion, I don’t know where to start…

In my first post I mentioned that I had done a reading guiding me to manifest my shop in a non traditional way. To let it happen, not shoe horn it into my life, create a business non-plan. So ok, as you wish….

Like the dutiful student, I’ve been patiently waiting for a lightning bolt from the sky, a message told to me in a dream but mainly something that is a teeny bit more obvious that the number 1 and 4. And I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that I’ve possibly, make that most probably, missed the point.

Those of you like me who look for signs and listen out for inner wisdom you’ll no doubt recognise this confused state. We have faith in creating our own reality, really truly…and then get disheartened when things do not appear to change. It is only when looking back usually from quite a distance that you can see there was guidance there all along.

One the reasons I would say is why we don’t always interpret the guidance, is “noise”. This noise doesn’t just come in the form of sounds but thoughts and feelings and usually being wrapped up in a drama of some sort. This can get in the way of tuning in to the universe and our own intuition.
I like to describe this as a radio that isn’t quite tuned in to a station. You hear lots of background whooshing and crackling and sometimes the words fade in and out so you have to get the gist of what they are saying. But you might be left wondering about the detail.

That’s where I am. Ready but bewildered. Lots of questions but struggling to get the answers. I need to tune in, find the station.

Ha, and there you go, through the course of writing this post, the first bit of non plan planning reveals itself:

Silence the noise.

Crystal companions

So it occurs to me that i’ve gone 8 blog posts without really talking about crystals and why a shop. I guess it’s about time I did.

I can’t actually remember when I decided I wanted to open my own crystal shop. Late ’90s I think. And it was’t love at first sight with this career path either. I’d been introduced to these “magic rocks” at a workshop a friend of mine held at her house one day after work. Both curious and skeptical and with the promise of a glass of wine or two I went along to hear her friend talk about crystals, tarot and all kinds of strange things. I remember closing my eyes, holding my hand out while she held a crystal (Turritella agate) over my palm. It tingled, like tiny pixie-like fingers tickling me. I think i jumped, and most likely spent the next year trying to rationalise the experience. I bought three little rocks on what I thought was a impulse – the turritella, blue lace agate and a bright yellow piece of sulphur.

After that crystals became my constant companions. I started to learn about their properties, both geological and spiritual, found myself a crystal healing course and read anything and everything i could to understand why these little rocks were having such an impact on me.

There are a number of viewpoints as to the more metaphysical properties of crystals. The one that resonates with me is that due to their physical composition they carry a unique vibration, or “tune” which interacts with our own vibration. If our vibration is disonant, the tune of a particular crystal can work to create a harmonic resonance which facilitates healing.

I love how unfathomably ancient they are too. The deepest, most powerful connection to our planet. It reminds me how connected I am to everything.

And I know that they have helped me. They have been instrumental in helping me deal with my physical health and facilitated my spiritual development. They are aids in meditation, can be talismans of strength when needed and work to keep my, sometimes treacherous, mind focused on the positive.

So I decided i wanted a crystal shop, to share the crystal love and make this my work work. For a while that was a distant dream. Other work work took priority and there were a few entertaining detours along the way!
My crystal companions were always there though, in my pocket, under my pillow, around my neck but supporting players rather than the main act.

Now for no logical reason I feel the time is right. No doubt its those little magic rocks guiding me with their ancient music. Crystal work work beckons…

Does it add up?

I am being stalked by a number, actually a gang of numbers, combinations of 1 and 4. Ha, and as i wrote that the time changed to 11:44. Those numbers have a wicked sense of humour.

I studied a bit of numerology when I did my crystal healing course and found , like astrology and tarot, it gave incredible insights into my spiritual journey. Things that resonated at my core. Things I wanted to rationalise away and disagree with but knew were spot on.

According to numerologists, 1 is the number of new ideas, pioneering, the start. I have found that it also corresponds with the cardinal Aries energy and the Fool card in Tarot. Its a great sign for starting a project even on its own. In New Age circles combinations of 1 refer to great shifts in consciousness. 11:11 for instance is seen to represent a “Gateway” into new worlds, new ways of thinking.

4 is a quite different. Its a stabilising force, the number of solidity, making things tangible and real. Correspondence wise it resonates with the fixed sign of Taurus and the Emperor and Empress in Tarot which represent the manifestation of male and female energy into the 3rd dimension.

Together they give me the message of tempering my 1, Aries woohoo! energy with the careful and thoughtful Taurus energy of the 4. A reminder that the idea and enthusiasm is only part of the picture, hard work and steady progress are also necessary.

My apologies

Today was a difficult day.  The energy felt scattered and I was out of sorts.  I wonder whether this is typical of a newbie blogger but I am sorry to say I am not feeling the flow…

I have learnt, remember Type A personality here, that thats ok and being comfortable with the sticky days is just as important as being in flow. I have begun to realise that when these moments come by to just let them do their thing, take a deep breath and lie down till its over.  This is not the day for business planning, creative thinking or inspirational blogging. Sorry.

I went to the pub instead.

Aren’t cheerleaders brilliant!

One of the good things (well mostly good) of benefiting from a huge dose of Aries energy is being able cheerlead for friends, family and, if you are lucky, yourself. Pure Aries energy is Tigger, its that dog from Garfield and its the guy from the Fast Show that thought everything was brilliant.

Deciding to do something that I’ve never done before, especially when I’ve spent a good portion of life doing something else in a half decent way collecting half decent money, is terrifying, mesmerising and a little bit surreal. And then I share my idea and those feelings suddenly become my baseline.

In taking this kind of leap I need fellow cheerleaders around me. I need the fire stoked, to feel invigorated by my decision and gentle nudges and pushes to stop me going into reverse. I need the Tiggers and people to shout “Brilliant”!

I am sure I am not alone in this experience. Some of us have the inner critic on overdrive the entire time. Our brain doing its best to sabotage ideas by trying to protect us from things that it thinks might cause us pain. Sometimes it wins. But with enough cheerleaders around me, I might be able to drown it out.

Of course not everyone is a cheerleader and at some point I know I will call on those who help me think of the risks, the what ifs and buts. They are invaluable too…when the time is right.

So cheers to the cheerleaders. I won’t be able to do this without you ❤

(for a trip down memory lane or a first view at the genius of Paul Whitehouse)

Ask the Moon

Making a life changing decision is what my friend and amazing coach Gabriella calls a Gulp moment. Its the moment when you realise that there is no turning back, you are doing this. For me its the easy part, much aided by my strong Aries (leap before you look) ascendant. Its still as scary as hell but Aries finds the fun in that.

Its the time before that which I find tricky. This is most likely the effect of a Virgo Moon and Pisces Sun, astrological opposites who come up with ideas and dreams and ways to shoot it down in equal measure. The dithering space if you will.

Over time I’ve created aids to help me figure out whether something i want to do is doable. One of my favourites is “asking the moon”

I forget where but i read somewhere that when considering a decision is to allow the moon to complete a full cycle from the time the thought enters your mind to deciding to make a change. As the moon waxes to Full and wanes to New it sheds a different light onto the Earth and create a different image in the sky. This can tells us that perspective always shifts and how we see something today may change tomorrow with new information or even just time to sit with it. For me, it helps me channel that impulsive sometimes daft Aries energy and even better crystallises how to bring certain ideas into reality.

Tonight as i write this the Moon is a bright what looks like perfect circle (but maybe a wee bit gibbous) in the sky. Seems fitting to give her thanks for her guidance on my journey.

PS Gulp is an insightful, easy to follow book written by Gabriella. If you are planning a Gulp moment it may help you on your journey. Check out her wise words here:

Tarot tales

Non work working day today and i got to do something i “enjoy” very much – a tarot reading for a special soul.
One of the reasons I love my spiritual work is that whilst i am in the act of doing it I am in flow, I feel connected and I know that what i say comes from a place of love. I “enjoy” it. That is to say not only does it give me joy but by being in flow I believe that feeling allows me to bring joy to the process.

Another love of mine is words, how they sound, their particular music and rhythm and their original meaning. The word “enjoy” is a particularly good one as its about making or giving joy. So that flips it around and makes us responsible for bringing out the joy to something rather than waiting for an experience to hand the joy out to us. It takes us from being active rather than passive participants in our actions and our happiness.

So I am following the course of work where i bring out the joy. I am accountable for that. But please feel free to remind me when i have those days where i inevitably forget!

Work work

Today was work work. As in what I currently get paid for, work. I am blessed to work in an environment so embracing of my real self. It affirms to me the importance of authenticity.

Authenticity has been a major watchword on my life journey as had led to making sometimes difficult decisions in where to work and what work to do. So if I don’t feel like I can be myself or feel the need to hide some of my crazy, I know I won’t flourish and I’d rather walk away, even if that is walking away from a hefty chunk of guaranteed income.

Now I have a new watchword to add to my collection. Dream. As in follow it, dare to, live out your and its voice is a strong as that of Authenticity. And its been my dream to live, breath and flourish with my first love, crystals. For a large part of my adult life its been in the background, what you might put as a hobby or “other interests” in a CV. It’s been work but not work work. Soon all that is going to change…