If only

I was just starting to stir this morning. Not quite asleep, not quite awake, lying in the world in between. I felt nothing. No pain, no tiredness, for a moment I thought I had recovered and allowed space to entertain the feeling. But I took a breath and time moved on and it all cameContinue reading “If only”

M.E & The Virus that never leaves

“No poly. I feel like a bag of shit. Didn’t surface until afternoon. Can hardly eat. Can hardly move my eyes.” This was an entry in my diary, one of those five-year diaries mainly girls of my day would be gifted for Christmases or birthdays. In my case it was my 14th Christmas, an ideaContinue reading “M.E & The Virus that never leaves”

Ode to a Bad Day #2

I am going through some old poems and revising a few, which is as much as I can muster right now mid-relapse. I wrote this one two years ago when I thought I was having a bad day. Perspective can be a wonderful thing and it can also be brutal as I look back todayContinue reading “Ode to a Bad Day #2”

Defective

New poem for ME Awareness Month 2021. I wanted to write something that reflects the frustration of being dismissed, ignored & gaslighted because we cannot be “good productive members” of a consumerist economy. Seems apt to post this on International Workers Day too. For more information on living with M.E or caring for someone withContinue reading “Defective”

Only love

No poem or funny story for you. Just some thoughts and a plan… It’s been a difficult week Less By Thursday the combination of the confirmation of that individual as leader of the Conservative Party, which supposedly makes him my PM, the way above average or even peak temperature that day and M.E symptoms wereContinue reading “Only love”

Less travelled

I might as well live in Timbuktu As far as I am – from me to you. I might as well live in San Salvador Confined to sofas and stuck indoors. I might as well live in Kaula Lumpur Dreaming of dancing away til four, Or even til two,  but now, I might as wellContinue reading “Less travelled”

Ode to a Bad Day

You can gather from the title today is not a good day. Yesterday wasn’t great either but today, has definitely been what those of us with mild-moderate M.E call a Bad Day. I wanted to write today. I also wanted to do some housework. I wanted to go to the library and maybe stop offContinue reading “Ode to a Bad Day”

The carer’s career

I wrote this poem after texting my husband to pick up some milk. It occurred to me that there are relationships everywhere that at some point one will send this message to the other. I then reflected on what that request meant to me in my relationship and realised it’s depth. Hidden in this mundaneContinue reading “The carer’s career”

The formula for Gratitude

Want to know what gratitude feels like? Take away the every day… Take away getting ready for work Take away opening jars, making tea, standing while it brews Take away hats, scarves, sunglasses, flipflops Take away cosy chats, feisty debates, gossiping girls Take away walking, running, cycling, swimming Take away everything you never knew youContinue reading “The formula for Gratitude”

The eclipse

Burning brightly, joyously. Solidly. Creating life-force and essential fire, until it falls – Shadow Only glimmers struggle to stay Reminders of what lies behind The shadow sits, weighty and cold Dense and obstinate, refusing to leave It stifles and suppresses its enemy – Light For a while it wins. All that once shone removed Pain.Continue reading “The eclipse”