Visible and vocal

I drew the Queen of Swords this morning. I was feeling sad and, for some reason, full of shame. As I comtemplated the card I started to write this which encompassed the qualities of the Queen of Swords and has some autobiographical qualities…

The Queen of Invisibility

What life has she had that she faded away?
What grief and sorrow pierced her heart
What light lays buried beneath her fears

What stick and stones drew her away
Fighting her body’s place in the world
Her mind rising to its home in the clouds

What escape did she plot in her dreams
Travelling further to faraway stars
Creating distance and quiet from the earth

How does she come back to us now
How does she live amongst the disease and dirt
And bring her voice to a place to be heard

What message does she carry within
As she touches back down to the ground
A voice borne from now visible breath

What story does she tell coming back to into view
What life will she have to share
As the Light strengthens inside her to be seen…

My counsellor recommended for me to read the Invisible Child by Tove Jansson, creator and author of the Moomins as part of my work in coming through grief, loss and my crippling fear of judgment. I watched this today.

I identified with Ninny very closely both as a child and my adult self. (Co-incidentally Ninny is a term which has often been used as an insult to lack of ability and intelligence). Ninny, the Invisible Child, has been subjected to the insidious and relentless sarcasm of an uncaring Aunt that has rendered her invisible. With the Moomins’ love and compassion she has been restored up to her neck but the rest of the work she must do herself. In doing so, she finds her voice and takes her place in the world, no longer afraid of other people’s judgment.

As I took some time to reflect on this story and my Queen of Swords poem I saw a very clear line of logic in the guidance both from this world and the world of spirit.

I am finding my voice. I am becoming visible. I am also awakening to the role that we all are here to play, that is, a role that is unique to us. Each one of us has a personal history borne from the experience of events and how we respond to these events, each one of us has a specific and inimitable take on the world that provides a perspective that no-one else can completely share. Each one of us has something to add and something to say.

We are the pieces that make up the whole and by sharing those pieces, all of those pieces whether palatable or not, we can learn from each other. We can empathise by understanding a life far different than our own knowing that that life is just as valid as ours. We can explore each others world’s rather than knock them down.

My voice is not yours nor should it be. You might not agree with what I say, you might find my words uncomfortable or even unpleasant, as different to your taste as salty to sour but when each of us speak our truth we raise the very vibrations of the universe.

Be visible. Be heard. Be true.

Published by Kirstie Sivapalan

Writer. Poet. Indie Kid. Crystal Lady. Pisces. Enthuser. Cheerleader. Helper. Geordie Londoner. Sharer of stuff I know. Sometimes found working in HR (but not very often) Oh, and #spoonie, living with ME/CFS. That about covers it.

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