Messages from suffering

I am tired and achy today.  M.E symptoms have flared up a little this week and am experiencing what my exercise therapist calls a “setback”. This of course throws up all sorts of emotions and thought patterns and triggers a reprise of some old soundtracks.

So in an effort to regain some form of control on my day I have been watching various teachers, speakers and practitioners speak about Mindfulness as part of an online global conference.  It’s all free too so that certainly appeals to my pragmatic side.

Several guided meditations later I have been reflecting on the nature of both suffering and judgment.  Both social and emotional dis-eases in our world.  But my questions have been a more subjective nature and I came to an insight that resonated deeply.

That is that suffering can be all the more torturous not just because of phsyical and mental pain and wishing it wasn’t there but because it contains the feeling that you are the only one feeling this way.  And as thought patterns can negatively spiral down this leads to a feeling of disconnection, not being understood and that you are going through this completely alone.

But, and this is a huge BUT… one of the most powerful ways to move out of suffering is to realise that you are not. And not only that but everyone is dealing with something. It might not be at the same time but it comes in at some point.  Frustration, pain, sadness, exhaustion, fear, criticism, grief, abandonment.

And let’s then add to that judgment.  I’ve already written about my own fear of judgment but there is also the self-judgment of not allowing ourselves to feel pain and sadness because other people have it worse.  I think we all share that one too which leads to this gloss we put over the world that everything is ok and we are all getting A grades in the school of life.

But none of us are, just “shh” don’t tell anybody.

This gets to the heart of why I want to create this space.  Not to sell crystals, not to provide treatments, not to teach but for people to share and support each other on their own personal journeys. Not out of knowing what’s best or being an expert in XYZ or projecting their own truths but by allowing each other to find their own way knowing that everyone else is doing the same.

 

Reading back I realise this particular post is probably one of my hippy lala posts but so be it. It comes from the heart, no actually deeper than that.  And in it there’s a message from my higher self, my inner best friend.  “Find communion, be vulnerable, be open, be brave…

…and put it out there”

 

Published by Kirstie Sivapalan

Writer. Poet. Indie Kid. Crystal Lady. Pisces. Enthuser. Cheerleader. Helper. Geordie Londoner. Sharer of stuff I know. Sometimes found working in HR (but not very often) Oh, and #spoonie, living with ME/CFS. That about covers it.

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