The State within

Still caught in the grips on the solar eclipse detox which has manifested as a chest infection.  I feel dreadful and each of my senses is in full rebellion.

I caught myself looking forward to post detox when I am all shiny and new and that reminded me of a conversation we had at the Meet-up on Tuesday evening about suffering.

I’ve never been one to subscribe to needing to suffer to be a “good” person but I do believe the experience of suffering teaches me and is part of my growth.  I read a Buddhist position about suffering once which never left me.  That suffering is desperately wanting to be in a different state that the one you find yourself in. For example, when I felt joint and muscle pain I desperately wanted to pain to go away. I didn’t choose to accept my current state.

Now I know this is controversial especially if you are someone else in pain or any form of suffering.  I am not trying to teach, tell anyone what to do and I certainly do not have ready answers, this is a learning point for me which may only be applicable to me.

Focussing on the future when I am all shiny and new doesn’t feel that it is helping. Accepting that I am prone to infections, I have a condition which is a physical manifestation of whatever karma I am working through, is, as I have written about before, allowing that space to be. That state to exist.  Desperately wanting to be out of the situation is my ego protecting me but what signs and guidance might i be missing by looking out instead of in?

I am immediately minded of the Solar eclipse message. Maybe by fully experiencing our current state whatever that might be gives the opportunity to truly “hear” and “see” each other.  Fully tune in to our collective consciousness through shared experience.

Well that is clearly my message of today,  and now feeling slightly less dreadful.

Published by Kirstie Sivapalan

Writer. Poet. Indie Kid. Crystal Lady. Pisces. Enthuser. Cheerleader. Helper. Geordie Londoner. Sharer of stuff I know. Sometimes found working in HR (but not very often) Oh, and #spoonie, living with ME/CFS. That about covers it.

2 thoughts on “The State within

  1. “For example, when I felt joint and muscle pain I desperately wanted to pain to go away. I didn’t choose to accept my current state.”

    I have read that many times from many different spiritual teachers.

    In my own life, I have been able to dissolve pain by moving my awareness into it. I don’t try and push it away, I move into it and really analyze how it feels. The strange thing about this method is that within seconds of moving my focus/awareness into the pain sensation it starts to lessen.

    (I am not a doctor, I am not sure that everyone can/should do this, but it does work for me.)

    Now, obviously, pain can be a sign of a problem within the body, so if I were to get a new reoccurring pain somewhere I would go to the doctor… but after going to the doctor for splitting headaches (the frontal lobe kind that feel like someone with an axe is trying to break my head in half) and having doctors put me into all the machines and run all the tests and finally just shrug and want to write me a prescription for pain meds… being able to treat this myself by dissolving the pain by moving my awareness into it is amazing.

    On occasion I have had to do this over and over repeatedly (pain comes, move into, pain dissolves, rest. seconds later pain comes… repeat) and one night I had to do it repeatedly for hours on end… but it does work and I am thankful.

    Liked by 1 person

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