Helpfulitis

Feeling a little better today but decided against struggling into and through work in favour of staying restful. One thing I know these bouts of illness test me with is how I deal with my compulsion to not want to let people down.
I am sure this comes from my concentration of Piscean energy and I imagine its also helped along by the Moon in Virgo. They may be almost in opposition in my chart but in this I think they are united on opposite ends of the spectrum in providing me with challenges around being helpful.

Or helpfulitis as I like to call it.

Something I think we all catch now and again usually when our help has either not been asked for and/or is not in our own best interests. It is the ego cleverly presenting itself as compassion when all the while its looking to feed its feelings of martyrdom.

According to my exercise therapist this is a common trait of people with M.E. I’m not sure about lumping everybody else in on that basis but for me, yep, this is true. Pushing myself or ignoring my body in order that the other person or persons has a better experience. Or rather does not experience less because of me. (Because that’s my job of course)

But I am not feeling sorry for myself here. Well i am a little because I haven’t stopped sneezing for three days straight, but not on account of helpfulitis. It’s one of the lessons I am continuously presented with in various guises, one I believe I willingly signed up for on a soul level.

Maybe this is what I was meant to reflect upon from under my duvet. I’m about to dive into the development of a project focussed on helping. The opportunity to come down with several bouts of helpfulitis is pretty substantial.
So before I do I better figure out who I am really helping in the long run.

My ego or my spirit.

Published by Kirstie Sivapalan

Writer. Poet. Indie Kid. Crystal Lady. Pisces. Enthuser. Cheerleader. Helper. Geordie Londoner. Sharer of stuff I know. Sometimes found working in HR (but not very often) Oh, and #spoonie, living with ME/CFS. That about covers it.

One thought on “Helpfulitis

  1. A message for us all. In one way or another 🙂 This is a good time to practise you being your best friend. Treat yourself as you would a dear friend, love yourself as you would a friend, be caring and kind to yourself as you would a dear friend. Climb under those covers and nourish your body and soul xx

    Liked by 1 person

I'd love to hear from you...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: