Guilt-free consequences

I woke up this morning with scratchy throat, shivers and extremely wooly head. Sigh.

Somewhere in the last week or so I’ve overdone it. Given that week was full of late nights and indulging in Christmas food it’s not hard to find the culprit.
But no regrets. I enjoyed every second of my indulgence. A day to balance it out doesn’t come that much of a surprise.

I could now (and I can almost hear my inner Virgo get ready for rant) feel guilty and beat myself up for this overdoing, desperately trying to press the rewind button and replaying the time with more sensible restraint. And as my observer observes I think of a somewhat pithy saying my Crystal healing teacher would say
“take U out of Guilt and you’re left with Gilt” …because there really isn’t any point, especially feeling guilty for being present in enjoyment.

It’s not the guilt that changes behaviour, in fact in me that has alway reinforced a cycle of guilt-criticism-denial-rebellion-indulgence, a cycle well known to strong Virgo characters, and it certainly has never helped a healing process. Instead, its the observer, gently, lovingly watching. She reminds me, as Eckhart says, to be the space I need to be today. With no judgment.

So today that space is me with a cold, taking it easy until it passes. Holding on to the feeling of gratitude for the pleasures of the Christmas break.

Published by Kirstie Sivapalan

Writer. Poet. Indie Kid. Crystal Lady. Pisces. Enthuser. Cheerleader. Helper. Geordie Londoner. Sharer of stuff I know. Sometimes found working in HR (but not very often) Oh, and #spoonie, living with ME/CFS. That about covers it.

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